Beginning Metamorfosis

Oh, what can I say? There are soooo many things going on right now. Everywhere I leave a footprint, I desire to improve. I want to make a difference with my family, friends, co-workers and community. However, I think I may be overdoing it a little bit because I want to get my CBE certification like yesterday, I need to take a doula training workshop and I am trying to make sure I get all the textbooks I need for my classes, while working all at the same time.

Super excited to get started but I really need to make more money to fuel my efforts. I won't panic. I think way too far in advance.

Good news, I got one of my books online for a really good deal through a facebook community and two other books I need via my neighborhood library. I sure love that!!! I am hoping I will be able to use my library for majority of my books that I will need.

I need to work on some scholarship applications and then get to bed. ttfn :)

Broke Wide Open

I am not one to really follow stars or even play into their message, but after watching this interview with Pharrell Williams on Oprah Prime. He has a brand new fan. I loved his comment on "The new black." It was funny listening to him because I have always felt like racially I have missed the mark. And then with following what I care about like midwifery, I feel a bit under-represented because I have not seen a lot of gals of color speaking out on the natural birth, breastfeeding and the pro-doula movement. 

Anyhow coming back to the point. I have never tried to be more than just me. But by some of my peers and even by family in the past I had been referred to as, the one that is not culturally in tune. But like Pharrell was saying "I'm not trying to be black." That is so right. I just want to be me and that is it. Take me as I am. 

As long as I fulfill my purpose on this earth as the Lord Jesus desires for us to do, that is all I want to do.

Thank you Pharrell for keeping it real and thinking about us women when you created your new album : GIRL. Good job Oprah for setting up such a great interview!

The “new black” doesn’t blame other races for our issues. The “new black” dreams and realizes that it’s not a pigmentation; it’s a mentality. And it’s either going to work for you, or it’s going to work against you. And you’ve got to pick the side you’re gonna be on.-Pharrell Williams

"Because I'm Happy!"-Pharrell Williams

ttfn :)

Crazy Dream

I am not sure how to connect this with my drive and passion to be a Midwife however, I had a dream that made me think of how I might react to a pre-termer.

I remember being at a birth at a hospital with a really cute young Asian couple. Momma was pushing and I was helping coach her through it and she did a miraculous job. I see the baby being put on the warming table and all of a sudden mom is dressed and ready to go. Momma and daddy are standing next to the baby with the nurse and I walk over to join them, realizing that the baby nurse was a really good friend of mine. I congratulate the parents on their new bundle of joy and join in on the gawking. hehe. 

After I finished oohing and awing, it seemed that reality had hit me and I noticed something was off about the little baby. She sure was beautiful, had all ten fingers and ten toes, even had a beautiful glow about her. After I shook her little hand, caressed her little toes,smiled at the family as they were leaving. I asked my friend the baby nurse, "How old is this baby?" She told me she was 26 weeks and then I just started balling. The baby nurse then said, " yeah some people have a hard time with this." I knew what she meant at least in my dream mind, I knew she was talking about, abortion. 

It was as if the room had changed from celebration to mourning. I asked my friend to excuse me and walked over to a bench in the room and continued to cry, mourning the loss of many little souls.  And woke up with this heaviness on my heart. 

Crazy dream! It was too much like real life for me. This special little baby was fine and in great hands, but I just went into this place of mourning. What a way to kill a mood! Good thing the parents walked out before I started making a scene.Smiles.

On a positive and progressive note, I received my major map for school and I am sending back my financial agreement. Then the learning starts, May 5th is the day classes begin. Right now I am also trying to look into all these different scholarships and to my surprize there are quite a few. I am going to just try for every one, in-between being a mommy, wife, daughter, friend, and employee. What fun, I can't wait to get started! ttfn :)

Update: It is fun going back and reflecting on what you write. This is interesting to me, the connection that I had made in this dream. Thinking and reading this in my concious mind I would think so I have an issue with pre-termers but no somehow I jumped all the way to abortion. Interesting. But I can remember feeling this way and not knowing how to adjust in this dream. 

One Step Closer

Alright! Yes! I am one step closer, I have paid my enrollment fees and called in to make sure they have received all my transcripts. They are still waiting on one but other than that, I am in, yeah! I was planning out my study schedule and it looks like it is going to be a lot of late nights. Really I will just be replacing a lot of web surfing and tv time for book indulging time. I want to soak in as much knowledge I can, so that I will be able to teach it later with ease.

Now that I am this close I am already dreaming about my clinicals but I know, one thing at a time.

Keep on dreamin'. ttfn.

Crazy Beginning

What an exciting beginning for me. I recently applied to midwifery school and to my hopeful surprize I was accepted into the program. Now what wasn't exciting was coming up with the required funds especially after the previous plans I had on paying for my education and housing had fell through the cracks. But God is good and forever in control because I ended up creating a gofundme account four days before the payment was required for my education to get started and to my complete surprize I was donated all the money I needed two days before deadline.

The first day I saw a couple of donations my heart dropped out of my chest to the point where I wanted to cry from excitement but I couldn't because I was in such shock. I haven't been to church in a while and I have my reasons but that doesn't mean that God is not still in control and that he doesn't know what I need or want. Thank you Jesus!

I can't wait to journal my exciting journey, I am sure there will be some great twist and turns. For example, my kids with a combination of homework, married life and all its perks, oh and work. ttfn :)