Self Discovery

I have been on this voyage of self and I am finding things all the time, it is quite interesting. I have been talking to a brother from Congo and he has been enligthening me about all the misconceptions I have had about or surrounding Africa. He makes me want to jump a plane and go right now. I think I have figured out the langauge that I am going to teach myself and my family. Looks like it is going to be Swahili. I am thinking that once I finish with my Midwifery, if the Lord says the same I will visit with my family and stay for a while. I have always felt like I don't really have a culture and have been on this journey of finding myself and still am.

I have already been out of the country a few times and each time felt more at home. I think it is time to progress and visit the mother land. And since my husbands culture is on the way stop in there as well and learn and gather for my children. I love that my children are multicultured but I want to make sure that know both cultures and be proud of each.

I think being a Midwife is it very important that you know yourself and are comfortable with what you find about yourself. I am so grateful to be going on this transformation. I am not sure if I was going through this if I would be fully going through this journey in life. God has me meeting the right people and having different challenges come up for me to test my self-knowledge and self-worth.

Currently I am only taking one class and I am getting mentally ready to take on more this coming quarter. But all this leads to knowing my power and the abilities that God has placed on my life. And this has also been very humbling for me as well. I find myself thinking about the word Midwife and what it really means. I know I am to be the help and understanding what being the help really means. That's heavy! Just to think that one day I will be the watchful help for many mothers and babies. I feel like in one way I already am but not quite to the capacity I will be at in the future.

I recently had the privilege of meeting the main Midwife on the west side of North Dakota and wow, I love her calm and peaceful demeanor  and how she explained that God gave her the ministry of being a Midwife. That is how I feel, I feel called but I also feel like I am not worthy. Why would God call someone like me to care for women and babies in such a delicate time of life? I guess this is where finding myself more and more comes in. Can't wait to find more and put it towards my education and passion.